Rebirth

I believe...

I haven't seen him since...

I haven't trudged the path to his eyes yet....

But I have been there in my dreams...

I haven't held his hands tenaciously into mine yet....

But in my dreams I have felt his hand firmly holding mine

I haven't spoken my love tales softly into his ears yet....

I haven't even touched him or embraced him warmly ever....

And yet, I know...

I know because I believe...

I believe in his soul and mine...

And I believe we are soul-mates....

I can feel the aura and nothing has ever felt so perfect...

We have been made for each other ever since life began....

Ma...

The technician in my lab..the most caring woman I've met here.. even though she can't speak Hindi and ain't good at English either..I love to talk to her.. love the time spent at the lab with all her care and smiles... One really doesn't need language to communicate.. you just need hearts :)

Today, on a holiday, as I was walking by the street, I saw two women talking and the one facing me looked like a very caring and sweet lady... I was just remembering my lab technician and hoping there were more people like her when I saw the other lady..and she was my lab technician!! :) and the lady I had seen first was her mother...! I greeted them and as I said my goodbyes, I was wondering how perfectly she reflected her mother...and was hoping that I too would one day reflect the love and care in my mother's heart...that one day I too want to be my beautiful mother's shadow.. I also want people to see her in me.. I love you Ma. I love you.

Trivandrum to Delhi in my pink pyjamas!

After 3 full days i saw sunlight..walking out of the hospital, it was like a blessing, like God was saying: Don't you worry sweetheart, now you'll get well soon, I'm here to take care of you. India was shut and the roads were empty, I climbed into the ambulance and the driver rushed as I had never experienced before..All I was hoping for was to not go back to the hospital! ... Safely to the airport I sat with my luggage waiting for my flight... It was a small li'l Jet Konnect taking me to Bangaluru..the most beautiful airport(-after Europe's) I've ever seen... I was late to catch my next flight but couldn't resist the daal makhani and butter naan from Taste of India ;) As soon as I was on the next flight.. I was deep in sleep-lying down on two seats..one was luckily empty beside mine :D ... Fruit juice and lots of water all through the way.. oh! and the handsome stewards! ... From the Delhi airport back home through the awesomme rain in the handsome Taxi... And as I got off...I was dumb-founded when I looked at myself for the first time after the whole trip!! I was wearing pink pyjamas!!! Complete disaster!!! The duty free shops and the wonderful international like airport in those pyjamas!!!! It was not pyjamas i was worried about, it was the colour..PINK!!! OMG! I ran into my home, changed into another night suit so that atleast in my dreams I'm not in pink... and went to my own calm deep sleep..with my bottle of water. End of a long day (in my pink pyjamas!!!!!!!) -----

No, it ain't you, it's Love that matters...!

You've hurt me... not by saying that you don't love me... but by what you did... The way you took my heart, broke it into a thousand pieces and threw them on my face... THE END... That's not what I could imagine even in the worst of situations... I cried and you mocked! That's what you did... But really it doesn't matter anymore, because if this is the kind of guy you are, I am glad it ended soon... just not soon enough.

It's taken some time...but I'm so much more happier now... Now that I've no any link left with you... Some more time maybe..and I'll find my peace... you broke me..from the insides - i felt so empty, Void..

But now I can clearly see the skies...and I've come to believe that I've lost nothing...because I have nothing to lose.. It is the love in my heart.. which learns and grows and deserves a much worthy person.. someone who doesn't pretend and for whom, LOVE matters.

There's nothing you've taken away from me... instead... you've given me something... an experience that could be used well in life... memories that even though remind me of you - they remind me of the person who once asked me very sweetly if he could message me... who once shared the same thoughts as mine... the same person to whom I whispered in the ear - "I Love You" in the middle of heavy rain.. in the most romantic monument of the country... the same person who gave me my first ever kiss... I'll remember you, but i'll remember only those good times... and where those good times end - I don't know you even exist?!

Love will always be precious to me.. even if it hurts a lot sometimes.
7/30/10

Void

Silence, in and around me. Thoughtlessly in desperate need of an understanding. I want to know things, i like knowing things. Emotions can be so strong sometimes, I feel like curbing them now... For some time, I just want to stop feeling. I don't want to love, i don't want to miss anyone, i don't want to long for anything at all. I want to remain void, to feel nothing.